Motherhood is the most humbling job

There has been so much going on in the Tomlinson household with Miss Inara lately. The past couple weeks have presented many new challenges for mom. As the title of this blog states, motherhood will surely humble the most confident woman around. I consider myself to be up for most challenges presented to me, but I've recently come to realize that my new career as a mom has presented me with the greatest learning curve. I fancy myself a pretty smart lady most of the time and have always strived to be the best at everything I do. Boy, do I feel like a fish out of water more so than ever before. It is a constant learning process. Just when you think you have a child figured out...BAM! She starts something new.

When Inara was first born, I struggled for awhile with all the new processes (breastfeeding, midnight feedings, bathing a newborn, etc.), but relatively speaking, she was an easy baby. She slept in noisy places such as restaurants and at parties. She was easy to put to bed. No 2 hour process to speak of. Yes, she had some feeding problems, but once we got that all figured out, she was easy to handle. Then, the mobility started. Everything changes once a child learns to roll over. I could no longer sit her in her rocking chair or swing and move about on my own. She got her first two teeth at 10 months and while it was tough for a few days, it went rather quickly in hindsight. Then, my world was rocked when she learned to crawl and even more so when she started walking, as I had expected. Oh, how I miss the good old days of an immobile child who napped throughout the day.

Lately, one if my struggles has been the napping schedule. Or the lack thereof. Some days Inara wants to take a morning and an afternoon nap. Others I can barely get her to take a catnap the entire day. Some days I can exhaust her by being out and about. Other days, the busier we are, the less chance I have of getting her to nap at all. The inconsistency (or maybe the better word is the unpredictability) is what kills me the most. By 3 in the afternoon, I can read the sleepiness on her face, but she will refuse a nap with all her might. She is one strong-willed child. Who would have predicted that from my daughter?

In the last two weeks, Inara has been showing all the signs of teething, but do you think one of those little boogers would peak through to offer us some relief? She rugs her ear, lays her head toward one shoulder as if to relieve pain, wakes up screaming bloody murder, gnaws on pretty much anything she can get her hands on but refuses all things made to help in such situations, has been abnormally irritable, and, according to my mommy radar, is just not herself. What I find myself doing on the really tough days is sitting with her in my arms, cuddling, rubbing her head, and giving her as much love as I can. This obviously means the days of me being productive are out the door, and I can finally say, I'm fine with this. It's a hard thing to admit and even more difficult to accept, but mommy duties call.

Along with this though comes the loss of time for me. No, I'm not talking about the bigger "me time" of going to the movies or shopping or getting a pedicure. What I mean is the little bits of time for myself throughout the day. For example, getting to go pee without having someone follow me into the bathroom. I know this is payback for all the years that Michael and I would sit outside the bathroom where I now understand my mother was trying to find a few seconds to herself each day. Michael and I would so obnoxiously pester my mom so much that we would even resort to passing notes to her under the door: "Mom, can we watch TV? Please mark Yes or No." Payback is a bitch. Moms sacrifice every ounce of independence there is. Sorry Mom. I totally get it now!

Here's a great story to illustrate my point. Yesterday, Inara and I were playing in the living room. She seemed to be content playing with her Little People, so I thought, "Hey, I'm thirsty. I'll get me a glass of water." I got up, and no sooner had I started filling a glass, do I hear her scream and within seconds, she comes running around the corner with tears streaming down her face. Yes, all I had done was get up to get a glass of water. That's a no-no because that meant I was not in her direct line of sight. Silly mommy. What was I thinking? Yes, I now have a permanent growth attached to my side at all times. First, I called her my shadow, but now I feel that we are much closer than that.

Another new "skill" Inara has developed is her dinosaur screech. It is the most annoying sound in the world. The high pitched frequency is heard by all the dogs in the neighborhood. It is her way of letting me know that she wants something. What she wants I have NO idea. She will let out this sound and point. I will go through everything that is within 5 feet of her pointing finger to no avail. Baby girl, just tell me what you want! I can tell that she is getting more and more frustrated with the fact that she can't communicate clearly with me, which is where the world's most obnoxious sound comes from: pure frustration! The other new vocal development is her screaming mom. I was on the phone with Erin the other night, and Inara wanted my attention, so she let out a loud MOM! Even Erin heard it and was shocked by the clarity of Inara expressing my name. Yes, she wants attention. No, she will have to wait two more minutes. Daddy, please help!

However, with all the roller coaster twists and turns I've been dealing with, I am in total awe of this amazing child. She can now say mama/mom, dada, and even says uh-oh. It's cute when she says uh-oh even if it's after she has thrown a handful of food over the side of her high chair. Grr...but so cute. I'm super impressed with just how many words she can recognize and is getting great at pointing to things when we ask her to show us. She can point to hair, eyes, ears, nose, belly, toes, feet, hands, socks, shoes, pants, and a slew of animals. She makes the cutest elephant sound. It's more like a raspberry, but it's her version of an elephant blowing its trunk and I love it. I tried to teach her to wiggle her nose like a rabbit. For some reason, her interpretation is winking her right eye but I'll take it. It's so dang adorable! Speaking of animals, we have a resident squirrel who's been eating the berries out of the tree just outside our dining room. Inara and I just sit there and watch him munching away. She will even lay her head on the windowsill as she watches. My heart melts when I see her do this.

Other new things she does to entertain herself is she loves to turn around in circles. This all came about because of the closing song on the Imagination Movers. She turns around and around and around, of course getting herself dizzy. Then she tries to walk. Yes, I follow her around so she doesn't crash. When I'm in the kitchen, she loves playing in the cupboards I've designated fair game. She especially loves taking all and I mean all the tupperware type containers out and carrying them all around the house. She then likes to put other things into the cupboards. The other day I searched all over for the home phone and low and behold I found it in the tupperware cupboard. The first place I should have looked. It was there with her shoes and her water cup. It's amazing how fast kids can do things even when you're standing there right next to them. I hope this blog made you all smile and giggle a bit. I love sharing the latest mommy and Inara adventures with you all. Wow how time flies. She is now 14 months old, going on 5 years it seems like. Just kidding. I'll get Shawn to post new pics and videos this weekend. Good night!