Keeping up with Lyle

You've all heard the saying "Keeping up with the Joneses." My new saying for Shawn is "Keeping up with Lyle." You see Shawn's been bit by the Christmas bug along with the neighbor envy bug. Last weekend Shawn decided he was going to put up Christmas light, which just happened to be after our neighbor across the street, Lyle, put his up. You see Lyle is the manly man on our block. (To remind you, he was the one who came over and helped me with the pipes when I was worried about them freezing.) So Shawn went to Ace Hardware and I was heading to Target anyways, so while on our respective shopping trips, we called each other and compared prices on lights. Of course, Target's were cheaper, but Shawn was already at Ace and from what he read on the packaging, he thought theirs would be better (even though they were $17 a box and Target's were $12). When Inara and I got back from our trip to Target, Shawn was busy working away on the lights. As the observer, of course, I had to throw in my two cents on how I thought he should do things, but he went about doing his own thing. I kept going outside to check on him because this simple project sure did take a long time. As he was hanging the lights, he was annoyed by the fact that some of them were poorly constructed and the icicle strands were unevenly distributed and poorly twisted so that Shawn had to mickey mouse them. He then had to figure out a way to pull the extension cord up out of the way so you wouldn't see it dangling down. Thank goodness Pop introduced Shawn to tie straps. They sure do come in handy for just about every project. As Pop says, there are two things you need: tie straps and RoundUp (weed killer). That night, the three of us went outside after dark to observe the pretty lights. Huh? Why do the two strands on the ends look bluish and the other three strands look yellowish? Shawn was pissed, but he left the lights up for time being. He's such a perfectionist and obviously trying to keep up with Lyle that he was so irritated and determined to get more lights from Ace the next day. Monday night he returned home with the last three boxes of that brand of lights they had.

This last Friday, Shawn decided to return to his Christmas light project. First, he tested the lights in the house to make sure they were all yellow. We were so annoyed to find that one of the strands had a bluish tint again. Mind you, we've read every inch of the boxes and packaging and the strands are all the same, or so they are supposed to be. At least he had the two other strands that were yellow so he could replace the two blue ones still hung up. He unraveled the strands to make sure these weren't poorly twisted and strung together before he hung them up. Jacked! These were even worst than the other strands he'd already hung up. One of the icicles hung down about three feet while the others were barely a foot. "That's it! I'm taking them all back!" Shawn yelled. "I'm going to Target to get new ones. Wanna go?" Oh wait. Did I just hear him say he wanted to go to Target to get new lights, the place I had originally told him to get the lights? Wow. What a concept? Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but as I told him, if he would have just listened to the wife in the first place, all this hassle could have been avoided, but NOOO, he's the man and he knows best. Ha ha. Shawn did admit later that from now on he's just going to listen to me because it will save a lot of time. Hooray. He's learned the secret to a happy marriage: just listen to me. Yay! I digress.

We pack Inara up and head to Target where Shawn then spends the next 40 MINUTES reviewing all the Christmas lights. Yes, I understand there are a TON of lights to choose from, but 40 minutes? You see Shawn had to inspect and read all the boxes to figure out which ones were LED, which color he wanted to go with, which had the best bulb count and length, and which ones had white and not green wires because he didn't want the green to stick out along the white eaves of the house. I was dying laughing because just as he would decide on a light to get, he'd go to get the right amount of boxes only to find out he was one short. Pure comedy I'm tellin' ya! He then decides he wants to get lights for the windows in the single car garage to one up Lyle I'm sure. (Oh by the way, Lyle even put lights around all the trees in his backyard too. So much to keep up with. Ha ha.) Once home, Shawn puts the new lights up in record time and they look awesome. White icicle lights around the front of the garages and red lights framing the windows in the one garage. Who would have thunk that Target brand lights would be this perfect? Hee hee. Shawn was so proud of his job that he asked Kristi and Thane to do a drive-by after we all had dinner together Friday night. He had to show them off to someone. The silly man even went outside that night in socks and flip-flops to take a picture. Too bad it was snowing and he skidded and got his sock wet. Aye carumba. That night we talked about getting some nights for the two trees in the front yard too. But there are no close electrical outlets, so we walked around trying to figure out how to get power to the trees. Shawn's thinking of rigging something up from the outlet by the garage door opener, string wire up the rafter, down the side of the garage and then to the trees. He's such a man and loves these challenges.

Well then, Saturday night I hear Shawn say, "That bastard." I go to the front windows to see what Shawn's looking at. Lyle switched out the two lights on either side of the garage so one is now red and the other is green. Shawn was mad. Does Lyle think of everything? I swear I don't know my husband any more. You see, he used to always make fun of me when I'd put up decorations in our apartment. Now this guy is thinking of new ways he can decorate his house and one up the neighbor. He's killing me!

Lyle really is the super man of the block. His lawn is so perfectly manicured every week. Shawn even pointed out that there is never a stray leaf on his lawn. Then this morning as we are enjoying watching the snow falling, Shawn dies when he sees Lyle shoveling the driveway and then brings out the snow blower to clear the sidewalk around his house and the neighbors. Shawn walks away shaking his head saying, "Whatever, man, whatever." I've seen a whole new side of my husband. And I love it!

Last story before I bore you all: Shawn and I worked on the basement today. He went to Home Depot and got more of the storage shelving units that he and Pop bought for the garage. He was upset to see that it looks like they are blowing them out and possibly not going to carry them any more, so he bought four sets. I thought that seemed overboard, but once we started organizing the basement, we used all four and could actually use a couple more. Anyhow, the basement is now super organized into sections: Inara's stuff, Shawn's electronic stuff, Marisa's books, stuff for a garage sale, holiday decorations, and leftover tiles and other supplies for the house. I even have a crafting corner all to myself. Yippee skippy! Then Shawn rolled out the extra carpet and padding the builders had left and arranged the extra TV stand and tower we have. Too bad we don't have an extra TV to hook up downstairs and a couch, but maybe someday we will. Then we situated the bar Jason made us so we can actually use it if we wanted. It's a great idea that we put the extra carpet out so now if I want to go downstairs to work, Inara has a carpeted area to play rather than have her play on the concrete. It looks so great down there and I'm most impressed that we got it done in under 3 hours. Shawn did most of the work, so I've gotta give him all the credit. Honey, it looks awesome!!! And for all the hard work you've been doing in the house lately, I'll give you a pat on the back and shout out, "Good job, buddy."