Time for my weekly update

So much has gone on this past week, so I'll try to get through it in a short blog. First off today, I had my 6 week check up with Dr. Chu. I'm almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight with only a couple pounds left. Yay! I can start exercising again also. I've been having a lot of problems lately with breastfeeding so I asked her about it. She said it seems like I just might be one of those women who doesn't produce enough milk. She suggested that I start feeding Inara every two hours. If she's sleeping, I'm to wake her up. Or I can start pumping during those times that she's sleeping. Regardless, I need to be on a two hour schedule so I can try to increase my milk production. That means no more sleep for me. I'm having a rough time with all this simply because I feel like I can't do anything else but be attached to baby, literally, whether it be to feed her or because she's crying non-stop and wants to be held. This makes for a difficult situation for working and doing anything else for that matter. I know I want to do what's best for baby, but seriously this is exhausting. Then I feel guilty for feeling this way. Oh the emotional roller coaster of being a mom.

I don't know why it's bothering me so much but I have yet to hear from a few family members since I had Inara, no phone call, no card, not even an email. I guess it's bothering me because I thought these were family members that were excited about Inara. Also, because I thought I was close to these particular people, or at least I was at one point in my life. It's just really sad that we've gotten congratulation cards from our neighbor, Shawn's co-worker in Illinois, and my landlord but not my family. Again, my LANDLORD sent us a card but no word from some of my family. Go figure. I guess it goes to show that when it is all said and done you can't always rely on family. I get emails from my Aunt Jeri who's traveling all over the world. OK that's a slight exaggeration but she's on the road at all times and yet I hear from her quite often along with emails from my cousin Christina and calls and email from my cousin Kim who is super busy with long hours at the hospital, so people can't use the excuse that they just don't have the time to contact me. And I know these people I haven't heard from have cell phones and email so in this day and age there really is no excuse besides not putting forth the effort to say hey, Marisa I'm so excited for you. Congrats on the new baby. Does that really take that much time? I guess I just really want to know that my family cares but it's becoming too much to ask for I guess. This blog has turned into a bitch session, so I'm going to take a break. Besides baby's screaming, so I'll finish this blog later.

OK. I'm back. A day later but I'm back. I figure I better end the blog on a happy story. This past Friday and Saturday was Arbonne's ACT Now (advanced consultant training) in Anaheim. I was super excited to have a team with me at this training. I had Sara, who's been my one strong business builder since I started, and my new team under Michael.(Karie and Angie came for both days and Crystal came for the free Friday night event.) The trainings just keep getting better and better. I had so much fun and was thrilled to share this with people who mean so much to me. My mom even came for half day on Friday and all day Saturday. One thing that was super exciting was that we learned that next year Arbonne will release new products 7 out of 12 months. This is huge given that we usually have new products only 3 months out of the year. This goes to show how Arbonne is definitely the right company to be building a business with. They have so many new products to offer that they are going to add 4 months to our calendar. Hooray for Arbonne! And the teaser we got on the products built up our enthusiasm. We know there is going to be new products in the Figure 8 weight loss line, the RE9 anti-aging line, and the nutrition line. Also, it looks like Arbonne is going to finally expand with more travel size products too! Something I sent a suggestion in about a year ago. Yes! Even more reasons to love Arbonne! So much for a short blog. Sorry, Thane. I guess I'm just too wordy.

New pictures in our gallery

Shawn posted the latest round of pictures on our website www.shawnandmarisa.com. He added the one month set under the link Baby Inara Delivery and First Days. A couple descriptions for several pictures: the one with Inara laying on the octopus chair was taken on her month birthday. What we are going to do is take a picture of her every month on the chair so people can see just how much she has grown. This is something Thane and Kristi had done with Avery and we loved that idea as well. Today I took a picture of Inara as she slept for the first time in her crib. This was a big deal since she hates to lay flat on her back, but she did sleep for over 45 minutes. I'm going to keep consistent with introducing her to the crib during her naps to get her more familiar with her bed. As for the halloween pictures, Inara wore jammies that say, "I take after my mummy," and I dressed up as a mummy. Ah how cute. Note: never dress as a mummy as it's one of the most difficult costumes you can make.

Latest doctor visit

I decided to call the doctor this morning because this past weekend Inara was a bit out of sorts Fri, Sat, and Sun and I noticed that her infant acne seems to be getting worse. I left a message for a nurse to get back with me. When I spoke with her and told her what's been going on, she asked if I could bring Inara in just to be on the safe side. So we went in and saw Barbara the nurse practioner. First off, her acne is nothing to worry over and should go away in a few weeks. The only thing I can do for it right now is to wash it with warm water several times a day. Unfortunately, the crusties on her earlobes are not acne but eczema. I had a feeling it was something like that. Barbara then started asking me other questions. I told her Inara had been out of sorts over the weekend, fussier than normal, didn't sleep much during the day, and wasn't pooping as much as she had been. She then asked what her last bowel movement looked like. (I know Uncle Greg will love this part.) I told her it was green and a bit runny. Barbara then said, "I know you don't want to hear this but I would recommend switching to soy formula and to start eliminate dairy from your diet because it sounds like Inara may be lactose intolerant." Just wonderful! I knew this one was coming too because I'm a big dairy fan. I love my chocolate milk especially. I had actually decided to do this as of yesterday in order to figure out if that was what was bothering her tummy. Barbara reassured me that this is very common in babies and that she will probably be able to handle dairy products later on but she also said the eczema is tied to lactose intolerance. I explained that when Inara was first born in the nursery they were giving her soy formula because she seemed fussier with regular stuff but that Dr. Kaplan had said he thought the nurses may have jumped too early. Barbara had recently recommended for me to try a special formula for fussiness, gas, and spit up, which I can still use, but I can also try soy if that will make me feel better as well. So here we go back to the drawing board trying to figure out what this kid can take. I just feel so bad because she's been so unhappy lately and I can tell it's her tummy. Poor baby girl. Good news though is Inara now weighs 7 pounds 10 ounces. Yay! She's getting bigger!

What's new with Inara

Inara has been doing well lately, for the most part. This week she's decided she doesn't want to sleep much during the day, so I have to do chores in short time frames before she starts screaming for me to hold her, feed her, or just to exercise her vocal chords. I'm worried (what's new?) about a couple things. First off, she had a few bumps on her face which the doctor said was infant acne the last time we saw him. However, the bumps are all over her face now, even her ears, which makes me worry that they are more than acne. The look more like a rash or something, so I'm going to call the doc and talk to a nurse tomorrow. She's also been more fussy than usual this week and hasn't been pooing as much. It seems like she has an upset tummy every day. Since I'm still supplementing, we got Similac for fussiness, which seems to be working today. Let's hope it helps. I've also been giving her Mylicon to help with gasiness. Keep your fingers crossed she gets regular soon. Ha ha. Overall, I feel like she's grown a lot the past two weeks. I can see a lot of change in her but maybe it's because I'm constantly with her. Shawn actually calls her my best friend. It's true. We are always together, practically inseparable just like best friends.

As for me, I'm doing fairly well. It's a roller coaster every day. Some days I feel like I'm doing a good job. Others I feel like I'm in over my head. I talked with my friend Eetung last night and she made me feel really good by sharing her parenting stories with me. I know I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way, but I can honestly say I now firmly believe parenting is THE hardest job in the world! On my rough days I just remind myself she is only 5 weeks old. We're still learning each other's ways and it's going to take time. I can't rush it because before I know it she'll be running off to school and want nothing to do with me. It's just hard because I'm so used to being on the go 24/7, keeping a clean house, cooking nice meals every night, etc. Now I think cereal and toast for dinner is a great thing. Someday I'll be able to cook meals again. Let's hope I don't forget all my favorite recipes. Also, I hope I've build a strong enough relationship with all my Arbonne clients so they don't find another rep and instead call me with their reorders since I can't call them like I used to. Baby steps. Life is all about baby steps in every way.

Time for a Pop Culture post

It's been awhile since I posted about random TV/Movie stuff, so I'll do a quick one on my latest tv viewing. First off though, I did get to go see the new Elizabeth: The Golden Age, which I really enjoyed. I loved the first Elizabeth and knew going into this one that it wouldn't be as good as the first, but it was still darn entertaining. Plus, Clive Owen my boyfriend is in it so I was happy. I just love everything Cate Blanchett does. I can't wait to see the Bob Dylan bio film she's in. Hopefully, I can steal away one night to see it when Shawn watches Inara. Hopefully, Shawn and I will be able to get a babysitter one night so we can go see Into the Wild. We're dying to see it. I love the soundtrack Eddie Vedder did for it. Inara and I actually listen to it when I'm rocking her to sleep on occasion. By the way, the other CDs I listen to when trying to get her to quiet down are the first Jack Johnson and JJ's soundtrack to Curious George. For those with little ones, I highly recommend the soundtrack. My Own Two Hands is a great song with a lesson for kids as is the 3 Rs which is all about reduce, reuse, recycle. Back to tv viewing.

I've continued my TV watching addiction, which works perfect for my late night feedings w/ baby girl. My DVR is on overtime actually with all the shows we watch. I've got to do something to keep me awake when I'm feeding at 2am. The biggest joke of a show goes to Viva Laughlin. I was curious so I watched the premiere. My suspicion was confirmed: it's pretty crappy. The whole concept of characters randomly breaking into song is too silly for me. I enjoy musicals but this show doesn't qualify in my opinion.

I love Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters this season for they have been my weekly cry. Watching Felicity Huffman's character dealing with cancer has hit close to home and makes me think of my Nana and Laurie Taylor, Nina's mom who is going through treatment right now. Cancer is evil, evil, evil! However, to brighten my day, I love seeing Nathan Fillion on DH. He's so darn cute! As for B&S, the story line about the brother coming back from Iraq has been so sad. I love Sally Fields. She may be over the top with her acting but the woman gets me tearing up every time.

Heroes has been good but unfortunately every week when we sit down to watch Inara decides to start pitching a fit. Guess she's not a Heroes fan. So we always have to pause it several times and try to get baby girl to quiet down. This kind of distracts from the suspense but we must deal with it.

Chuck is one of my new favorite shows. I love Chuck and his best friend Morgan reminds me too much of our friend Brian Sachs. I highly recommend everyone to check out this show. It's worth the hour.

My other favorite show is Reaper. Sock is hands down one of the best characters on tv. This show is so silly, over the top entertaining, totally my kind of show. I love all the humor in it. Plus, I'm starting to get a crush on the main character Sam. He's too cute.

I started watching Pushing Daisies but missed half of the last ep because Shawn was installing the new receiver so it didn't record the whole show. I like the quirkiness of PD. It does remind me of the movie Amelie, which is the way Jason had described it to me. I also love Kristen Chenowith, one of my fave Broadway stars. She has the cutest voice.

CSI has been creepy as usual this season, but I have to admit I've fallen behind on a couple eps, so I'll probably watch that and Without a Trace during late feedings tonight and tomorrow. I've been catching up on Real Time with Bill Maher the last 3 nights. Gotta have a little political humor and serious debate on my tv platter.

I was loving Tim Gunn's Guide to Style and the two eps of Say Yes to the Dress, a show filmed at Kleinfeld's the largest wedding dress store in the US, but I'm bummed that there haven't been any new eps lately. Hope this means they aren't cancelled already. I'll be really sad. I have to have some good fashion shows to watch while waiting for the new season of Project Runway to start.

Soon I'm going to start watching Deadwood which I borrowed from my dad. I've heard so much about this show, so I figured why not watching it while feeding baby. In case you didn't know, there is crap on TV at 3am. What did people, especially breastfeeding moms, do before DVRs?

The girl with many names

I've recently realized that Inara may have a hard time learning her name considering all the different nicknames she has already. Before she was born, I started calling her Baby Girl and Sweet Pea. I still use both names quite often. She has also picked up the name Squeekers because she squeeks more than she cries, which is actually pretty cute. She's earned the name Squirmy Wormy because the kid is always moving about. Often times, Inara has only one eye open, so we've started calling her Popeye during those times. I also call her Bright Eyes and Blue Eyed Baby Girl when she's all wide eyed and looking around. When I say these names, they are usually in a sing-songy mode. (This is a new thing I've picked up lately and have created several songs I sing to Inara, particularly when she's fussy.) My mom calls Inara "my angel," my brother calls her Inie, and my dad, who is infamous for making up crazy names, now calls her Pahrumpa. (He calls Kylie Sharumpa. Don't ask where he came up with these names. That's just Pop being creative.) I figure I better start calling her Inara more so she starts learning her real name.

Inara's doctor visit today

Inara had another doctor check-up today. We are so happy to report that she has gained weight! She is now a whole 7 pounds. Yay baby girl. She is still about a pound under what is ideal for a 4 week old, but at least she's gaining weight and looking healthy. I had a bunch of questions for the doctor today and he of course answered all of them and didn't get annoyed with my overanalying everything. I asked if it's normal for a baby to occasionally spit up through her nose. He said that's alright and even mentioned projectile spit up as being normal as well, both of which we've experienced with Inara lately. I also asked about a rash on her cheeks that she just developed. Dr. Kaplan said it's baby acne and also marks from her scratching herself. I hate covering her hands all the time because I want her to be able to use them, but at the same time I hate that she scratches her pretty little face. (By the way, when we left the doctor today, she scratched herself so bad that she actually bled a little bit.) I also had questions about breastfeeding and bottle feeding because I worry that she's not getting enough breast milk, which is why after I feed her she's still cranky and I end up having to give her 3 oz of formula. Dr. K reassured me that she's obviously getting a good amount of breast milk since she's gained weight in the past week and also stressed that it's not bad to give her formula. Most important is for her to be satisfied. I also don't want her to overeat and make herself sick and spit up but the doctor didn't seem too worried about that though. My dad wanted me to ask what the difference is between Similac and Enfamil formula because he did some research and found Similac premixed formula at Sam's Club while Costco only has powder formulas. At this point, Inara seems to prefer the premixed, so Pop thought we could save money by getting it at Sam's. He's such a great grandpa looking out for his granddaughter. In response to my question, Dr. K said basically formula is like asking the difference between Coke and Pepsi. It's pretty much just personal preference. Breastfeeding and bottle feeding are much more complicated than I thought. Thank goodness I can ask our doctor questions though. I did make an appointment to meet with the lactation consultant for this Monday just to get some additional help with breastfeeding. I figure it doesn't hurt. Inara's next doctor visit is November 9 when she will get her first round of shots. I'm sure that will be a dramatic day for the 3 of us.

New baby pics

Shawn posted new pics, so check out www.shawnandmarisa.com.

Am I cut out for this?

So here's a quick update on what's been going on at the Tomlinson household. I only have a short amount of time because I never know how long Inara will stay quiet and peaceful these days. Last night was a doozy, which is not good for my mommy self-esteem. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm cut out for this. For anyone thinking about having a baby, I recommend REALLY taking the time to think it through because while it's a true blessing to become a parent, it's definitely NOT an easy job. There are times that Shawn and I ask what we've gotten ourselves into. I know I'm beginning to doubt my "motherly instincts" that's for sure. And I just keep reminding myself that these are the easy times. Oh good god. Well, after a few nights of Inara sleeping on a good schedule for mommy and daddy, last night she decided she wasn't going to cooperate and sleep. She was fussy starting around 10:30pm. I was exhausted, so Shawn said he'd stay up with her. I felt bad because he stayed up with her the night before until 1:30, but I was so tired I took him up on the offer and headed to bed around 11:30. I woke up at 1:30am to a blood curdling scream. I found an exhausted Shawn and a red-faced Inara pacing the living room. I told Shawn I would take over and for him to head to bed. Afterall, he did have to go to work on Friday while I was at home all day with the little one. He went to bed and I fed the little vampire as we refer to her on such nights. After she ate, I would rock her and just when I would think I could move her to the bedroom, the kid would wake up screaming again. So Inara and I stayed up until 5am this morning. At 4 am, I started thinking about calling my mom to come put her to sleep. I don't know what it is about Grandma Nene, but she has the charm of getting Inara to sleep right away and for 3 hour blocks. When she finally went down at 5am, I decided to not call mom. Then Inara woke up at 6:20 to be fed yet again. I swear the kid is an eating machine the last two days. Let's hope she's just going through a growth spurt rather than this being her normal feeding schedule for the next few months. I decided to bite the bullet and called mom at 7am and asked for her help. You see I wanted Shawn to be able to get some sleep and I had a dentist appointment this morning at 9:30, so I didn't want to wake him and thought mom could sit with Inara until Shawn woke up later in the morning. Mom arrived around 7:30 and got "her angel" as she likes to call her right to sleep. Mom is a miracle worker!!! I ate breakfast and got ready to head out to the dentist. I am experiencing the worst pain I've had throughout my pregnancy and even the delivery because I have developed TMJ. My family doc diagnosed me last week when I went to see him. He said it is generally brought on by stress/tension and possibly grinding my teeth. Shawn says he hasn't heard me grinding my teeth at night but we've both been so exhausted that I wouldn't be surprised if I am indeed doing it. As for stress/tension, of course I've got that with a 3 week old. Show me a new mom who doesn't. So the orthodontist I saw today said I definitely am showing signs of TMJ with a displaced disc in my jaw bone, that he can see a wearing down of my teeth on the left side more than likely from grinding, and that all of this is what is creating my tension headaches the last 10 days. I got fit for a night plate which I will need to start wearing to prevent me from grinding my teeth in my sleep and hopefully realign my jawbone. There goes another 500 bucks. Shawn now calls me money bags with all the money we will be shelling out for my doctor bills and what not. At least, I now know what the heck is causing all the pain on the left side of my face though. It's been one heck of a weekend already and we still have one more day to go. Let's hope Inara has worn herself out the past 24 hours crying so much that tonight she'll actually sleep for longer than 30 minute increments. Cross your fingers.